5 Reasons Single Women Should Leave The Nest

Posted by Hannah Behrens in Featured Articles, Singleness on 11 23rd, 2009 | View Comments

To leave the house or not? This is the question many homeschool girls ask them selves as they graduate highschool. As a young single woman who has left the nest, I would like to submit five reasons I support the latter.

Leave-The-Nest

1. Woman have gifts cultivated best through life outside of the nest.

Many home schooled families expect girls grow into home makers able to tend to the needs of their husbands and children. I too believe that is a Biblical command and not be be overlooked in the least (Titus 2:4-5).

How many years does it take to learn how to take care of a home?

When I was young, my Mom trained me to clean the house. I folded laundry, washed dishes, cooked, babysat and more. I am thankful for that training. I am also glad that training period came to an end and that now I have graduated to life on my own.

2. Life outside the home makes you a better home maker.

A husband needs more than a wife to clean, cook, and have babies. He needs a soul-mate who can problem solve, give input, and express her own thoughts even if they differ with his. I think this is to the husband’s detriment.

Where will the man go when he needs advice if his wife is unable to think for herself? If she has never struggled with a decision or learned from her own mistakes how can she offer wisdom to her husband. Her lack of diverse social interaction can handicap her critical thinking and problem solving skills.

Men need helpmeets for their minds and souls,
Not just for their bodies and homes.

I have noticed a difference in women who leave home before marriage and those who don’t.

The girls who stay home rarely augment their husband’s opinion. They follow his wishes unquestioningly because the only life they know is their parent’s unquestioned authority. Their parents keep them from opportunities to think or make decisions on their own. This can make them indecisive. Indecision is not the mark of maturity.

3. Leaving without flying away

Let me offer a little comfort. I think it is possible to “leave the nest” without physically leaving the home. While the success rate is rare, it is achievable.

I know 20 something girls who still live at home. However, their parents do not dictate their life once they become adults. Their parents don’t treat them like children just because they haven’t found Mr. Right. They have careers, friends, social networks, and lives that extend beyond babysitting younger siblings. Their parents let them travel on their own, go to college and live life without having to ask permission like a child.

Their parents understand the separation that needs to happen for their daughters to grow up. These parents take the role of counselors instead of supervisors. They advise their daughters as they would another adult.

4. Arrows are meant to be shot out.

Children are not the property of their parent’s. Rather they belong to God and their parents are stewards. I can’t begin to stress the importance of this principle.

Parents must ask God what His will is for their children. Is it God’s will for His arrows to stay in the quiver? I think not. God has gifted girls with much more than just cooking and cleaning. Parents don’t squander the gifts God has given your daughters. If don’t give them the freedom to follow Christ on their own then you put them in the difficult position of choosing between your will and God’s will.

This doesn’t mean daughter is not still under her Father’s authority. But the father must allow his daughter to become an adult if he is to see her thrive. In most cases, I don’t think the desire to leave is motivated by rebellion. Although it could lead to that if the parents don’t let her feel or know that she is an adult that can make decisions independent of them.

Fear

Fear often motivates parents to keep their daughters at home.

To these timid parents I would ask,

If you raised your daughter in the way should go, how can she depart from it when she leaves home?
Do you trust God to take care of your daughter even if she makes different decisions than you would have made?
Do you trust that God can turn her choices into learning opportunities?
Is that not how He teaches you?
How will your daughter learn to follow God if you make all her decisions for her?

5. Immaturity is Unattractive

Men are adventurous and passionate. They look for a wife to dream big with. They are not looking for a little girl who needs her husband to think for her.

Women need a larger vision so they can support their husband’s calling in life. Not just to let him fulfill his calling alone and come home to a good meal, clean house, and warm bed.

When the honeymoon wears off and the physical home is cared for, what is going to hold the couple together and keep the spark and fun in the marriage?

Ladies,

if you want to attract a man and not a boy
you must to be a woman and not a girl.

What do you think?

Should we encourage adult single women to move out of their homes?
Should they stay home under the covering of their parents?
You single men. Are you looking for a wife who is living at home or a wife who lives on her own?

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Julie

Have to wholeheartedly disagree with you, Hannah.
1. Why do you think these gifts need to be cultivated away from the home? Anything that can be done "outside" can be done at home as well - and in a better setting.
2. "Diverse social interaction" can be positive or negative. And it can happen whether or not a woman lives at home. Living independently does NOT make a better wife -- it requires a woman to then give up that independence when she marries. Submission is something that most women have to work at; much more so when they are coming from a place where the final decision has been theirs. Thinking for yourself or problem-solving can be done at home. A parent who fails to let their 20-year old make decisions is doing them a disservice; in my experience, it's a rarity among homeschoolers, who generally teach their children to reason well.
3. Your children are your children regardless if they are 5 or 25. Living in your house while not being under their father's authority is a great way to build conflict and resentment, and often breeds rebellion in the younger children. In or out.
4. Absolutely! This is a time where her gifts can be used without the responsibility of a family. What a great time for ministry to others!
5. Yes, immaturity is unattractive. So is rebellion, anger, contentiousness, and discontent. What keeps that spark is the love of Christ, the oneness, the shared experiences, the knowledge they gain together, their family. In the best marriages, a couple grows TOGETHER as one rather than coming along side-by-side.

Your post, especially #5, seems to take a view of marriage as the end of something rather than the beginning. There is no need to come into it with everything your husband needs because you will grow together in the knowledge, experience, and love required.
Shaun

The idea that a girl has to live on her own to be a "woman" is absurd. You can live under the authority of a man and still be a woman...like every wife on the planet.

I'm looking for a Godly woman who still cherishes her family, submits to her father and is looked after like a princess. I don't want her to have ever been forced or allowed to live without masculine protection.

I don't know how my life will work out, but I've always hoped that I can, at my wedding, publicly thank the girl's father for protecting her, guiding her, and ruling over her until God brought us together.

That said, remember, men can move out before women because the purpose of men and women is fundamentally different. Men are to:
a) Subdue the earth
b) Glorify God

Women are to:
a) Help their husbands
b) Glorify God

If you don't believe me, just look at Genesis 2 -- God made woman with the purpose of being a helper to men.

Because of this, the focus of a girls education and training shouldn't be to be an "independent" individual -- I'm not even sure if the education of boys should focus on "independence." The focus of a girl's education should be on dependence to her father in preparation of her dependence on her husband.

I know this is hard to accept. I suppose it's just another reason that finding a Proverbs 31 woman is more precious than any sort of gyms. It's just so rare.

Pardon my ramble. :)
Colleen

My 2 Cents

I agree with Laurel when she said: "I think our main disagreement boils down to attributing the problems you note to the wrong cause, and it is addressed in your paragraph "Leaving without flying away." I heartily agree with Michael's reply to Laurel and her reply to Frank.

I'm nearly 38 years old. Homeschooled 8th-12 grades, graduating in 1990. I left the nest after college and was invited to return several years later. My parents heard Pastor S.M. Davis of Illinois and then explained and idea to my sisters and me....this idea of "living at home until you're married." I loved the idea and jumped at it. Although, those years at home (parents and 3 adult children) were NOT easy....learning to submit one to another. Even now, married 7.5 years with 4 children, I can still see the independent, submission-fighting attitudes I acquired unintentionally (and if I could bold the word "unintentionally" here I would) while on my own, rise up in my life.

There are other problems going on in a family when a girl is not raised to become a woman. Problems that might not necessarily be solved by leaving the nest.

After watching the homeschooling movement for the past 25 years, parents looking for any one thing or formula (homeschooling/courtship/etc.) to create a perfect, pain-free family just doesn't work.

Regardless of the choices of parents to do this or that...I have observed it is the parent/child relationship that makes the biggest difference in families (homeschooling or not) over the years. Are the parents honest? Do they share their mistakes? Ask for forgiveness?

Hannah, you do sound sort of angry as you discuss this subject. It might have been more refreshing and helpful for you to have written the whole article on offering up new and creative ways to make the option of "Leaving without flying away" less rare and more successful, since you do say it is achievable.
americanidolepisodes

if they're not leaving home they could become immature? and why is that so? :D
Hannah Hill

There are a lot of good points in this article, and one of the best ones is point #4: leaving can take place without leaving.

One danger we should watch out for is assuming that because we've seen it done this way or that way and it was all botched up, this or that way must not be God's pattern. There are wrong ways to do the right thing, and if you don't follow God's pattern in the way that He wants you to follow it, you're not going to get God's results. Don't blame bad results necessarily on what was done. It may all go back to HOW it was done.

I think the key issue here is headship. The Scriptural pattern seems to be that girls stay under the headship of their fathers until marriage. If that is not so, then why are they always given in marriage? However, that doesn't mean they should act like children. It is possible to become an adult while still in the nest, and I think that it has more to do with the choices we make than we might like to think.

Ideally, parents should give their daughters more and more freedom as their daughters become more and more responsible. If you feel that you're being "kept in the nest" too long, perhaps you should consider whether your character or lack thereof is partly responsible.

My experience has been that as I become more capable and mature, I am given more responsibility and freedom. I am able to exercise that freedom while still being under authority. On the other hand, I know of a young fellow who was being kept in the nest when he felt he needed to leave. He was advised by pastors and others to leave, but when he did, his lack of character and discipline began causing major problems for him and everyone he worked with. As I write, his life appears to be in a downward spiral.

Were his parents wrong? They may not have given a good reason for their decisions, or they may have opposed his leaving for the wrong reason, but God does give guidance through authority. The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, and many times timing may be the issue as well as the decision in question.

To sum it all up, I do think it is possible to stay under the headship of your father, and still learn to be a woman. That doesn't mean it's easy, but nothing worth having comes easy.

One more point: it takes more maturity to submit than it does to rebel. The latter comes naturally, and we should be very careful about saying that most girls who leave aren't motived by it. Deference is limiting my FREEDOM for someone else's sake. Not because I have to, but because I can. And that is a mark of great spiritual strength and maturity, which is the ultimate preparation for marriage.
Andrew Roblyer

I was reminded recently by a close friend about a key difference between Bible times and modern times: namely, that girls were married in their early teens, not their late teens and twenties like today. I believe that that very likely accounts for the lack of address in Titus 2, and perhaps even the entire concept of a woman needing to be "under the authority" of her father and then husband: she was simply not as mature. If this is indeed the case, then perhaps care ought to be taken in directly applying biblical standards to women that are 5-10 years older than they would have been in biblical times. The difference in the development and maturity of a 14 year old and 18 year old seem to demonstrate that the same standards cannot be applied to both.
Von

Leaving aside the other issues, you seem to imply that our societies delay of marriage is a good thing that should then destroy the many Biblical reasons (some of which have been pointed out here) for the Godly authority structure of the family.

The problem that I see is we have completely left the Godly method of getting married, and the result is that we now have new categories of people that are left to try to create some new Biblical category for themselves... instead of our looking to Scripture and seeing that it is our own disobedience (ie that of the church and the fathers) which has brought this category into existence.
Melanie

Well said! It is so refreshing to hear this perspective from another single young woman. I grew up in a conservative Christian home where I learned all the home making tasks and skills. But while continuing to submit to my parents, I have traveled the world and received an education. I am in graduate school right now, at 22, to become a counselor. I live in an apartment over an hour from my parents, but I am still submitting to them and growing as a woman in Christ. It is so sad to watch talented, precious women throw their own personal life callings away to be "submissive at home." Submission and all that are vitally important, but women deserve to live their own lives!
Julie

Wow. Equating a God-given calling and direction ("keepers at home") with throwing their lives away? That is a very sad statement. A "personal life calling" does not trump what the Bible states. There is no valid personal revelation that contradicts the Word.
Sarah Lanciault

As Christians, we live under grace and not under a specific law. All Christ wants from us is us bringing Him glory through our lives. If that's best accomplished at home or best accomplished abroad depends on the thousands of different scenerios that a family may be in the midst of.

God made all women different with different maturity levels, passions, and goals. Some women may be given the personality to go out and conquer the world at age 18, some women may need a few extra years at home to be at that place where they may feel comfortable to take that first step of faith out the front door, and some women may not have the finacial means and or the opportunity to leave at the moment. Some women are more adventurous and some more timid. Neither is wrong as long as they are listening to God's call and not the call of the world and, for that matter, not the call of their parents.

In my situation, I am 21 and saving money by still living at home while attending a local university. I am blessed to have a father who at 18 or 19 told me I know longer need to ask him for permission but just need to let him know where I am going for safety reasons. Of couse, he would step in to catch me if I ever stumbled, but he is confident that Christ will guide my steps. Lord willing, I will be moving out next fall as I hope to attend law school. I am looking forward to that next season in my life where I will be even more dependent on my Savior. With God their is a season for everything and everyone. As each snowflake in the winter season is designed uniquely by God, each person and each situation is designed by God for our good and for His glory.
chasemarberry

Both sides of the argument concerning whether young ladies should or shouldn't physically live at home until marriage are very well thought out. Additionally they can both be conclusions drawn from biblical principles. What it finally comes down to, however, is the decision that each family makes for their daughters.

If the daughter is an adult and the parents are allowing her to be an adult by not being controlling then both the daughter and her parents will come to the best decision for their situation. If the parents are forcing their fully grown daughter to remain at home or to move out then there is a more serious problem that needs to be evaluated.
Laurel

Hey girl, you know I love you, but while I agree with some of your observations in general, I have to strongly disagree with your conclusions.

As a precursor, let me state that children leaving the household before marriage is something our culture practices - however MANY cultures do not practice this, and most of the cultures that practice children living at home have much stronger family units. America is not known for having cohesive families.

As a disclaimer, I will also state that I lived at home until I was 26, until I was married, because I believed that to be Biblical. There were struggles at time and it took some work to strike a good balance between my parents and I, but it worked out well and I benefited greatly from it.

My primary objection is the Bible seems to teach that a woman stay under her father's headship until marriage. Most of your reasoning seems to be derived from situations you have observed, rather than what the Bible teaches. (Which, I grant, in this case is a very unpopular teaching.)

I think our main disagreement boils down to attributing the problems you note to the wrong cause, and it is addressed in your paragraph "Leaving without flying away."

The problems you bring up are not caused from living at home. They are caused by parents who lack wisdom, or girls who lack motivation.

A young lady is perfectly capable of developing all the desirable traits you described while living in her father's household, under his authority, with his blessing.

For those young ladies who don't have a wise father or mother, I don't think that lets them off the hook. They are commanded to honor such parents regardless, and they are still under their father's authority until marriage.

I fear that you may give cause or raise discontentment in girls through this article. Instead of encouraging girls to leave the home to acquire experience, etc., I believe it would be MUCH more beneficial to offer encouragement for them to develop these traits INSIDE the home. This takes work too, and young ladies and parents alike don't seem to have much teaching on it these days.

Anyway, no offense meant but again I cringe to think that you may be encouraging young ladies to escape situations instead of working through them for God's glory.
Michael

I am a pastor, missionary and Ministry Founder/President. My wife and I have 5 children, our oldest is married and we are expecting out first grandson. I have to agree wholeheartedly with what Laurel wrote. And most emphatically on this point "My primary objection is the Bible seems to teach that a woman stay under her father's headship until marriage. Most of your reasoning seems to be derived from situations you have observed, rather than what the Bible teaches. (Which, I grant, in this case is a very unpopular teaching.)"
Daniel B

I think it's important to see the difference between something that happened repeatedly in the Bible and something that God commanded everyone to follow. Slavery and multiple wives were pretty common as well, for an obvious example.

Titus 2 simply indicates that such a group of women (young, unmarried, not living with parents) did not exist. It never says they should not exist or gives any hint of an order for this not to happen.

I don't see where God commands all women to be subject at all times in their life to a man who lives in the same house as her. If this were the case, then to be consistent we should be urging any women whose husband has died to immediately move back in with her father and mother.

And we have to be careful even with something that appears to be a command (which this does not), because many commands were not God saying "This is the ideal way for my followers to live" - one obvious example being where Jesus directly says that the law of Moses allowed for divorce because the people's hearts were hard. Jesus didn't point out anything else in the law of Moses that was allowed for because of attitude or culture, but again, there are the obvious examples of slavery and polygamy.

<< Men are adventurous and passionate. They look for a wife to dream big with. They are not looking for a little girl who needs her husband to think for her. >>

This part cannot be repeated enough.
raspberry

I say AMEN to that, Laurel.
Frank

Laurel,

Are you not doing the very thing you just accused Hannah of doing?

You have made no Biblical case for your arguments. You have used only cultural references. Can the mandate for daughters to stay at home until marriage be found in historic Christian doctrine?

I think not.

To my knowledge this headship doctrine you reference is a somewhat new doctrine that emerged in fundamentalist circles in the 1960s and 1970s as a response to the woman's liberation (feminist) movement.

Should wives submit to their husbands?
Should children obey their parents?

The answers to these question is yes. But if you are neither a wife nor a child to whome should you submit?

The answer from Scripture seems to be that you are to submit to be:

God (Luke 10:27)
The Church (Eph 5:21) a
The governing authorities (Rom 13).

If you are going to use the Bible as your standard I challenge you to make your case from the Bible and not from culture or your own experience. I very well could be wrong but I need to see scripture for my mind to change.

Be careful not to make God's instruction for your life a law for all other women.
Raspberry

How can a woman be "neither wife nor child"? That is biologically impossible. At any age- you're still your parents' child.
Laurel

Frank,

Thanks for the note. I did not go into the Biblical argument for sake of time. I did not want to get into a huge debate as I simply don’t have time for it, and there are other people vastly more qualified than I to explain this position.

However, here are some references to consider.

Numbers 30:3-16 seems to make it abundantly clear that until marriage, a daughter lived in her father’s house and he was responsible for her. Upon marriage, her husband is responsible for her. There is no in between stage.

In the well-known chapter of Titus 2, as in several other places in the New Testament, there are only 2 groups of women mentioned – older women, and younger women already married. If there was supposed to be a group of young unmarried women on their own, it seems logical they would have been addressed as well as the young men. However, they were not, again leading me to believe the father’s authority is intact until marriage.

In my limited experience, all the reasoning I have heard for remaining under a father’s headship until marriage has been based upon Scripture and examples found within Scripture, whereas the reasoning I have heard for a woman to leave her father’s house is based on “silence” in the Scriptures surrounding this.

I do not mean to judge anyone by what I write, I believe you stand or fall before God. I also think there is liberty in many issues, and I don’t believe this issue will affect your salvation. However, I do think every Biblical teaching points to a young woman remaining under her father’s authority until marriage.
Elisabeth

I ahve been studying hard on the subject on should daughter leave home or stay under the fathers authority until marriage. Is the scripture in Numbers still to be followed after the new law of grace that came with Christ. We are not still bound to the old law. Things are so much different in todays time. We drive cars now and they did not then. The scriptures in the new testament are talking to wives and not single young girls. Mary and Martha did not live with their parents. Did they have parents? Were they orphans? Jesus taught to many women. He did not just teach the men. Why don't the widows have to have a male authority over them after they are widowed if women need a mans authority? I will give scriptures at a later time.
Daniel B

Great points Elisabeth. Just because something happened in the Bible doesn't mean the Bible is saying that is the only way things can happen. It's funny how people acknowledge some cultural differences for what they are yet see others as mandates.
Elisabeth

It is funny how people do that. I believe that we should have open minds and should search the scriptures for outselves and find what we believe and we should never base what we believe off of an other persons belief without searching scripture first.
One scripture that I found that helped me with the issue of should "Daughters remain home" is Romans 14:12-22
12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food[b] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.

To me that is saying that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion. It does not make it wrong for someone else even if you feel like it is wrong for you. 1 Corn 7 talks about the father giving the daughter in marrage but Paul did say that he did not speak by commandment but bypermission. (1 Corin 7:6)
Titus 2 talks about the older women teaching the younger women. It is not saying mothers. One other scripture that I found real interesting is 1 corn 11:3,

"3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."
It said that the head of "the" woman is man. It did not say every woman whereas it said every man. These are just a few thoughts that have been running through my mind.
Tom

Hannah, great incites, and mostly from a woman's perspective, too! Lots to consider. It was also nice to meet you last week.
We launched our arrow, our daughter a few weeks before 19 to start her BBA. She lived in an all girls dorm for 2 1/2 years. I thought she should move out a year sooner and become head of her own household, but God had other plans. An extra year in the dorms did see many Chinese women come to Christ and discipled; so, likewise being a servant to the Most High, I rejoice in His will.
Since May, she has been running a household with between 3 to 6 other ladies from 4 different countries: humbly building consensus, serving these housemates, getting along with close friends, befriending strangers, helping to set rules, chore charts, meals, cleaning, hosting prayer meetings, throwing parties, negotiating rental contracts, haggling with contractors, keeping the books, balancing the bank account, paying the bills, collecting rent, realizing that her role as landlady does not make her important, and generally managing her home with love while holding true to her contracts. Could she do all this while living here? Some maybe.
There are a few, "I will nevers" such as never letting anyone deduct anything from their rent due, kicking males out at curfew hour, even when he is her dear old dad or brother. She has learned self-respect, discipline, budgeting, and generally being a Proverbs 31 real estate owning and managing lovely land lady.
She is still under my spiritual covering. If you have any doubt, just try winning her heart without me knowing about it! Possible suitors reading this: I really hope I am a reasonable man. But please allow me to "clean my musket" or hint at her not talking about her concealed handgun, or else it is no longer concealed.
A few fine young Christian men are interested in this drop-dead gorgeous natural blond evangelist. My wife and I are wondering which one will win her heart, and of course, how many grandchildren we get. Life is so enjoyable!
Cynthia

Thank you, Dad, for your kind comment. You are so sweet!

Actually this issue is a timely issue for me. I am trying to decide what to do when I graduate from college in August. I am debating whether to go to Waco or Austin. If I go to Austin, I don't know if I would live with my parents or not. I know that God will guide me. He is faithful.

I appreciate all of your comments.
Tom

Cynthia,
You do what you feel God wants you to do. Having you close by is always a blessing; and, you are always welcome in our home.
Dad
raspberry

I guess you can measure a girl's maturity based on her job (does she pay her own bills?), career goals (what future income?), and ministry in the church. Then I'll sing along to Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson.

However, let's be careful on how we measure girls' maturity. Is it based on how many men's positions she can take up and still stay feminine?

Instead, why don't we compare a girl to to the Proverbs 31 woman? I think many men under-estimate what it takes to be a homemaker. Baby-sitting is not immature. This difficult task was given to us females for a reason. It takes a lot of patience, effort and it is of high importance.

In conclusion, I'd like to add that those men who have the final say in decision- making are mature, along with those women who are submissive- not the other way around. (assuming both are firm believers)
Andrew Roblyer

I find myself nodding in almost total agreement with this article, though I think that it but brushes the surface of the issue in some respects. I think that many times Christians forget that they do not need to /fear/ the world. Yes, caution is appropriate to a point, but as this author so rightly highlighted, faith is essential in our walk with God, including faith in His presence in our lives and the lives of our families...and faith implicitly means that we have to press forward despite our fear.

And interestingly enough, it seems that a lot of the parents who are most afraid of their children (especially daughters) leaving the nest are, in my experience, very often people who feel that they made bad decisions earlier in their lives and do not want their children to repeat those decisions. Even then, if they are using their own bad decisions as a way to guide their children, they do not realize that had they not made the decisions they had, they could have made other decisions equally as bad, just in a different way. A different decision is not always a better decision, particularly when it comes to complex decisions such as living at home, going to college, getting a job, etc. Thus, I am puzzled by this hesitancy, as these parents have no way of knowing what their children will choose. I do grant the fact that parents do know their children very well in a lot of cases and thus can arguably predict some decisions that their children will make. In fact, it seems as though they should be more confident that their children will be led by the years and years of teaching they received from their parents.

(Edit: Nutrimom is absolutely right, all involved need to approach this process with grace and love. I do not intend any disrespect or offense in this comment...I apologize if anyone feels that it is overly critical.)
Nutrimom

This article brings up an important topic. Parents need to allow their grown children to lead their own lives and make their own decisions. As our children mature, parents need to change from rule-givers to loving counselors. If parents release their child, that child will have no reason to rebel. The communication lines remain open. That child, especially a daughter, may not need to physically leave home, if she is released to come and go as any adult. Learning to ask, instead of command, is a delicate transition for both parent and child. Children would do well to understand that the transition is difficult for many parents. Love covers a multitude of sins. Both generations need loads of grace.
chasemarberry

It is rare in today's culture to find a young lady still living at home with her parents. This appears to be a result of the shift in expectations of our generation. Women are now typically viewed as independent, career oriented, self reliant individuals. And unfortunately due to the feminist movement are encouraged to "make it on their own" without men.

Women are certainly equal to men but God created them to be helpmates and thus the "Weaker Vessel". But it is necessary that they be prepared to be that helpmate. I personally think it is beneficial that girls go to college or pursue a ministry outside the home in order to develop their character and personality. This will benefit the marriage tremendously in that the wife can offer her experiences and opinions. I hope that my future wife will have the desire to be a stay at home mom and home school my children, but developing a ministry, career, or simply obtaining a college education before children is something I look for in a potential mate.

However, I think the independence and development can be achieved while the young lady is still physically living at home. Having the protection and accountability until marriage is crucial. Young women in their 20's have hopefully been raised in the way they should go, but the enemy is cunning and is out to destroy families. I would hope that my future wife remains under her parents covering until I am given the responsibility to be her covering. I am not saying that she does not need to be directly accountable to God and under His covering of protection. Parental protection is part of the Lord's covering.

I think this goes for young men as well. Young men need the accountability of their parents until they are married and have a wife to hold them accountable.

5 Reasons Single Women Should Leave The Nest

1. Woman have gifts cultivated best through life outside of the nest.

2. Life outside the home makes you a better home maker.

3. Leaving without flying away

4. Arrows are meant to be shot out.

Fear

5. Immaturity is Unattractive

What do you think?

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