The problem that I see is we have completely left the Godly method of getting married, and the result is that we now have new categories of people that are left to try to create some new Biblical category for themselves… instead of our looking to Scripture and seeing that it is our own disobedience (ie that of the church and the fathers) which has brought this category into existence.

Your post, especially #5, seems to take a view of marriage as the end of something rather than the beginning. There is no need to come into it with everything your husband needs because you will grow together in the knowledge, experience, and love required.

13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food[b] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.

To me that is saying that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion. It does not make it wrong for someone else even if you feel like it is wrong for you. 1 Corn 7 talks about the father giving the daughter in marrage but Paul did say that he did not speak by commandment but bypermission. (1 Corin 7:6)
Titus 2 talks about the older women teaching the younger women. It is not saying mothers. One other scripture that I found real interesting is 1 corn 11:3,

“3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
It said that the head of “the” woman is man. It did not say every woman whereas it said every man. These are just a few thoughts that have been running through my mind.

I'm looking for a Godly woman who still cherishes her family, submits to her father and is looked after like a princess. I don't want her to have ever been forced or allowed to live without masculine protection.

I don't know how my life will work out, but I've always hoped that I can, at my wedding, publicly thank the girl's father for protecting her, guiding her, and ruling over her until God brought us together.

That said, remember, men can move out before women because the purpose of men and women is fundamentally different. Men are to:
a) Subdue the earth
b) Glorify God

Women are to:
a) Help their husbands
b) Glorify God

If you don't believe me, just look at Genesis 2 — God made woman with the purpose of being a helper to men.

Because of this, the focus of a girls education and training shouldn't be to be an “independent” individual — I'm not even sure if the education of boys should focus on “independence.” The focus of a girl's education should be on dependence to her father in preparation of her dependence on her husband.

I know this is hard to accept. I suppose it's just another reason that finding a Proverbs 31 woman is more precious than any sort of gyms. It's just so rare.

Pardon my ramble.

I agree with Laurel when she said: “I think our main disagreement boils down to attributing the problems you note to the wrong cause, and it is addressed in your paragraph “Leaving without flying away.” I heartily agree with Michael's reply to Laurel and her reply to Frank.

I'm nearly 38 years old. Homeschooled 8th-12 grades, graduating in 1990. I left the nest after college and was invited to return several years later. My parents heard Pastor S.M. Davis of Illinois and then explained and idea to my sisters and me….this idea of “living at home until you're married.” I loved the idea and jumped at it. Although, those years at home (parents and 3 adult children) were NOT easy….learning to submit one to another. Even now, married 7.5 years with 4 children, I can still see the independent, submission-fighting attitudes I acquired unintentionally (and if I could bold the word “unintentionally” here I would) while on my own, rise up in my life.

There are other problems going on in a family when a girl is not raised to become a woman. Problems that might not necessarily be solved by leaving the nest.

After watching the homeschooling movement for the past 25 years, parents looking for any one thing or formula (homeschooling/courtship/etc.) to create a perfect, pain-free family just doesn't work.

Regardless of the choices of parents to do this or that…I have observed it is the parent/child relationship that makes the biggest difference in families (homeschooling or not) over the years. Are the parents honest? Do they share their mistakes? Ask for forgiveness?

Hannah, you do sound sort of angry as you discuss this subject. It might have been more refreshing and helpful for you to have written the whole article on offering up new and creative ways to make the option of “Leaving without flying away” less rare and more successful, since you do say it is achievable.

Titus 2 simply indicates that such a group of women (young, unmarried, not living with parents) did not exist. It never says they should not exist or gives any hint of an order for this not to happen.

I don't see where God commands all women to be subject at all times in their life to a man who lives in the same house as her. If this were the case, then to be consistent we should be urging any women whose husband has died to immediately move back in with her father and mother.

And we have to be careful even with something that appears to be a command (which this does not), because many commands were not God saying “This is the ideal way for my followers to live” – one obvious example being where Jesus directly says that the law of Moses allowed for divorce because the people's hearts were hard. Jesus didn't point out anything else in the law of Moses that was allowed for because of attitude or culture, but again, there are the obvious examples of slavery and polygamy.

<< Men are adventurous and passionate. They look for a wife to dream big with. They are not looking for a little girl who needs her husband to think for her. >>

This part cannot be repeated enough.