7 Reasons Men Wait to Get Married

Statistics say that the average guy doesn’t get married until 28. The highest age since the census bureau started measuring the statistic. Here are 7 reasons why.

Reason #1 We Prolong Adolescence

I don’t believe in adolescence. I think it is an excuse for adults to sin while claiming they are still children. Our society has turned the teenage years into some weird excuse to have the privileges of adulthood, (freedom, independence, sex) without the responsibilities of adulthood (provision, duty, faithfulness). Marriage represents responsibility: something many teens want to avoid it at all costs. We need to help teens mature by allowing them to suffer the consequences of their actions and not shield them from their irresponsibility.

• Foolishness + Time ≠ Wisdom.
• Immaturity + Time ≠ Maturity.

Adolescents are immature because we expect them to be.

Reason #2 Some Men Are Cowards

Pursuing a girl is scary, risky and dangerous. Pornography is convenient, easy and “safe”. Some men would rather walk the easy path of sin. This hurts a generation of women and delays marriage. Other men are terrified that the woman they marry will become “the beast” in a few years. In an ironic twist in men’s desire to avoid marrying the beast they put off getting married which often leads them to marry an older woman.

Reason #3 Teenagers are Unprepared for the Real World

Our education system is horrible at preparing students to do anything of value to society. Most 18 year olds don’t know anything about keeping to a budget, responsibility or sacrifice. If they did learn these things they learned them at home.

John Quincy Adams was an ambassador to Russia at age 14. Could you imagine that today, even among homeschoolers? I can’t. We have denied our children the opportunity to fail and thus have denied them the opportunity to grow.

Reason #4 Christian Singles Standards are Too High.

Singles need to focus more on being the right person instead of finding the right person. Many singles are trying to compensate for their own weaknesses by finding a strong mate instead of become more mature themselves.

For more on this read Christian Courtship – And the Need for Lower Standards.

Reason #5 Americans Value Money More than Family

The reason many adults advise us to wait is because they expect a certain amount of wealth before marriage. Each economic bracket has its own expectations and thresholds before marriage is permitted. Yet poverty can help cultivate a strong marital relationship. When I talk with couples who have been married for dozens of years they often tell stories of starving together when they were first married. They look back and smile at the times they had nothing but each other. It forced them to work through issues and caused them to appreciate each other more.

Keeping up with the Joneses is more important than starting a family for many Americans.

Reason #6 Premarital Sex Delays the Urgency for Marriage

Many men get everything they want out of a relationship without having to commit to much. This keeps them from getting married or when they do get married it is when they are older and less able to swap partners. This again hurts women particularly older women. The New York Times recently reported that according to census data that 51% of American women are unmarried – up from 35% in 1950. Men are not committing their lives to these women because they don’t have to to get what they want.

Reason #7 The Church has Forsaken its Responsibility to Care for Widows

Many women feel they need to go to 4 or even 6 years of dept inducing college so that they can support themselves and their families if their husband dies, leaves or is disabled. They have no expectation that their church will support them and why should they? How many widows does your church support?

Now these are not the only reasons men delay marriage. There are many legitimate reasons as well. But I think these reasons have been driving the statistic.

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