Courtship Definitions

Posted by Thomas in Early Marriage, Neo Courtship on 09 9th, 2009 | View Comments

Courtship-Definition

Before we continue on this discussion I feel that I need to define some terms. The cross culture dialogue about relationships is a lot like a Lincoln Douglas Value Debate. Each “side” doesn’t understand the other side because we use the same words but attach different definitions to those words. I would like to offer up the following definitions.

Courtship

Value: Purity
Criteria: External Control
Rational: Using a system of external/parental controls for young people in order to be kept away from sexual and emotional sin.

Christian Dating

Value: Marriage
Criterion: Purity
Rational: Young people should get married by any means possible as long as they maintain their purity along the way.

Casual Dating

Value: Happiness
Criterion: Liberty
Rational: What young people do doesn’t matter as long as it makes them happy in the long run.

Arranged Marriage

Value: Stability
Criterion: Parental Choice
Rational: Love is a choice. You don’t choose your parents or siblings and yet love them. Your spouse is the same way.

Neo Courtship

The new modified form of courtship advocated by various communities within the homeschool movement.

Classical Courtship

The form of courtship practiced in the Victorian Era by Christians throughout the United States and England.

What do you think?

Do you think these definitions fit? Am I off the mark here? Before we move along further in this dialogue we need to make sure we can understand each other.

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Leigh

Under the rational for Courtship: "in order to be kept away from sexual and emotional sin." Is that the only reason for parents to be involved? That sounds like fear to me. My reason for having my parents and our community involved when my husband and I were dating was so that we could discern God's will in our relationship and to help us grow. Yes, accountability was a part of it... but we didn't just want to focus on what we couldn't do... we wanted a picture of beauty to run towards... not a picture of evil to run away from. There is a slight distiction, but I believe an important one and it changes my rational for courtship. It's far more motivating to run toward something amazing rather than fear and dread the darkness.
Gregory

So what is neo courtship anyway?
Hannah

I think it might be helpful in terms of definition if you could elaborate more on neo courtship and classical courtship. I don't really know where you're coming from with either one of those terms.
Tom

Can you submit a value, criterion and rationale for neo courtship?
Tom Umstattd

I am glad I am already married and don't have to personally worry my little head about such things, only about the parents of my grandchildren.
Brian

Good start, I'd say. It sets up a very interesting discussion: is purity a value in and of itself or is it just a means to a goal? Lookin' forward to it.

One concern: so, is the CONTROL truly external, or is courtship just about external accountability. I don't think that most courtships involve parents controlling what's going on, more like monitoring it and giving feedback. That doesn't create quite as much of a distinction, but I do think that it's a little more accurate to say that the couple has control, with outside accountability. Kinda like the system of checks and balances that are in our government. If that makes any sense.

> Brian

Courtship Definitions

Courtship

Christian Dating

Casual Dating

Arranged Marriage

Neo Courtship

Classical Courtship

What do you think?

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