Comments on: Courtship & Predestination http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/ making courtship work in the real world Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:20:25 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Daniel B http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-128 Daniel B Mon, 21 Dec 2009 19:23:20 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-128 Thank you Cynthia. Too often the church acts like women are supposed to try and be unavailable, with the excuse that "It's the man's job to initiate, so he should get pursue you anyway"<br><br>Well, I definite agree men should get over themselves, stop worrying about rejection, put their identity in Christ's love and not whether a woman loves him or not, and pursue SOMEONE - but why you? If you act unavailable and another women makes it obvious that a relationship is important to her and she is ready for one....<br><br>Captivating puts this a lot better than I am putting it now.... Thank you Cynthia. Too often the church acts like women are supposed to try and be unavailable, with the excuse that “It's the man's job to initiate, so he should get pursue you anyway”

Well, I definite agree men should get over themselves, stop worrying about rejection, put their identity in Christ's love and not whether a woman loves him or not, and pursue SOMEONE – but why you? If you act unavailable and another women makes it obvious that a relationship is important to her and she is ready for one….

Captivating puts this a lot better than I am putting it now….

]]> By: Joshua http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-116 Joshua Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:58:50 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-116 Sorry for the double post. The link below does not work.<br><br><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+10:13-17&version=NASB" rel="nofollow">http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Rom...</a> Sorry for the double post. The link below does not work.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Rom...

]]> By: Joshua http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-115 Joshua Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:57:55 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-115 I appreciate the good material found on this website. But I did want to bring up something that I can see has been brought up below (by Kurt). <br><br>Even if people are predestined to faith, there is still the need for the gospel to be preached; see Romans 10:13-17 (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%252010:13-17&version=NASB" rel="nofollow">http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Rom...</a>). Why? Because if it has been predestined that they will believe, then it has been predestined that someone will preach the word to them.<br><br>The same goes for marriage. Yes, God has determined our spouse - but we still have to find her and pursue her. I appreciate the good material found on this website. But I did want to bring up something that I can see has been brought up below (by Kurt).

Even if people are predestined to faith, there is still the need for the gospel to be preached; see Romans 10:13-17 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Rom...). Why? Because if it has been predestined that they will believe, then it has been predestined that someone will preach the word to them.

The same goes for marriage. Yes, God has determined our spouse – but we still have to find her and pursue her.

]]> By: seancassidy http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-100 seancassidy Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:39:02 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-100 Hey everyone! I'm new to this group and I have not read any of the reviews yet (i intend to as soon as i have a moment to breath) But I have a few thoughts on this so let me know if you all agree. I don't believe that God predestines your wife for you as i know I could go out right now and marry a friend. However I do believe that some people will be a better match as a spouse than another. For example, someone who is passionate about overseas missions needs a girl that will support and preferably have the same passion. All throughout scripture, God has said that he will honor a righteous man. He also says that if we seek the Lord’s will of the Lord than he will give us the desires of our hearts. Marriage is great in Gods eye so a good spouse is a desire that I believe God is willing to give but not on our time AND if were willing to wait for the right one. What does waiting mean? It means not getting into relationships with just anyone, but more importantly, making your service to God more of a focus than finding a spouse. To often people make a spouse so great of a focus that they don’t end up serving God as much as they could in there single years. But that does not mean we cannot look and actively pursue a spouse. When Abraham was old he sent his servant to find his son a wife. That servant went out and Prayed for God to show him who the wife was. But still notice it all had to do with seeking Gods desire and not our own. (If you’re interested in reading this passage if scripture, which I recommend, it’s: Genesis 24) I am 21 and have never gotten into a relationship before as I am waiting for God to direct me to the right girl and I know he will bring the right one. To end, I believe that our active role is to seek God and then God will show use who is the best match, and then when we find that spouse we are to still keep God as first but we are to pursue that spouse to win him/her over as that’s the way God created use. (know what are the roles in the pursuit process is a whole other topic). Thanks for reading my thoughts and let me know what you think. Hey everyone! I'm new to this group and I have not read any of the reviews yet (i intend to as soon as i have a moment to breath) But I have a few thoughts on this so let me know if you all agree. I don't believe that God predestines your wife for you as i know I could go out right now and marry a friend. However I do believe that some people will be a better match as a spouse than another. For example, someone who is passionate about overseas missions needs a girl that will support and preferably have the same passion. All throughout scripture, God has said that he will honor a righteous man. He also says that if we seek the Lord’s will of the Lord than he will give us the desires of our hearts. Marriage is great in Gods eye so a good spouse is a desire that I believe God is willing to give but not on our time AND if were willing to wait for the right one. What does waiting mean? It means not getting into relationships with just anyone, but more importantly, making your service to God more of a focus than finding a spouse. To often people make a spouse so great of a focus that they don’t end up serving God as much as they could in there single years. But that does not mean we cannot look and actively pursue a spouse. When Abraham was old he sent his servant to find his son a wife. That servant went out and Prayed for God to show him who the wife was. But still notice it all had to do with seeking Gods desire and not our own. (If you’re interested in reading this passage if scripture, which I recommend, it’s: Genesis 24) I am 21 and have never gotten into a relationship before as I am waiting for God to direct me to the right girl and I know he will bring the right one. To end, I believe that our active role is to seek God and then God will show use who is the best match, and then when we find that spouse we are to still keep God as first but we are to pursue that spouse to win him/her over as that’s the way God created use. (know what are the roles in the pursuit process is a whole other topic). Thanks for reading my thoughts and let me know what you think.

]]> By: ggmmolly http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-82 ggmmolly Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:02:31 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-82 To paraphrase Matt Chandler, the person that I will marry will be "just a boy" (not in the "he's not a man" sense, but in the "he's just a male" sense). I could marry any number of Godly men and be really happy. There's a stigma in our society that says that there's only "one" person out there for each other person. That we could marry the "wrong person". This is why so many get divorced. Here's what I'm trying to say: Is there "one" person out there for me? No. But there IS only ONE person that I will marry, and God has predestined it that I marry this person (because, in His eyes, He sees past, present and future... it's already happened! No "open theology" here). <br><br>So, application: For me, I have found that it is MY job as a woman to simply seek the Lord and fall in love with Him first and foremost. I am to wait - but this waiting is not passive. It is ACTIVE, trusting that the Lord will provide in His timing. For men, they are to do the same, trusting that at the right time the Lord will provide as well - only, they are to be the pursuers. <br><br>This may be one of those things that goes "without saying"... but I think that it is worth saying anyway. Good discussion! To paraphrase Matt Chandler, the person that I will marry will be “just a boy” (not in the “he's not a man” sense, but in the “he's just a male” sense). I could marry any number of Godly men and be really happy. There's a stigma in our society that says that there's only “one” person out there for each other person. That we could marry the “wrong person”. This is why so many get divorced. Here's what I'm trying to say: Is there “one” person out there for me? No. But there IS only ONE person that I will marry, and God has predestined it that I marry this person (because, in His eyes, He sees past, present and future… it's already happened! No “open theology” here).

So, application: For me, I have found that it is MY job as a woman to simply seek the Lord and fall in love with Him first and foremost. I am to wait – but this waiting is not passive. It is ACTIVE, trusting that the Lord will provide in His timing. For men, they are to do the same, trusting that at the right time the Lord will provide as well – only, they are to be the pursuers.

This may be one of those things that goes “without saying”… but I think that it is worth saying anyway. Good discussion!

]]> By: caiorodrigues http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-81 caiorodrigues Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:35:49 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-81 I couldn't agree more, Sarah. Good stuff. :) I couldn't agree more, Sarah. Good stuff. :)

]]> By: NDJodi http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-78 NDJodi Sat, 21 Nov 2009 22:25:32 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-78 A simplified version of my own story is that God brought me & my husband together via a Christian dating service. Looking at the bigger picture, though, many changes had to take place in both of our lives to bring us to that dating service, including my move from another country and the circumstances that led to his being "single again". <br><br>I choose to believe in God's foreknowledge rather than predestination; He knows what we're going to do with the circumstances He places us in. It was my husband's decision to meet with me and after 10 years of marriage, I'm glad he did. However, if he'd decided not to meet me, I believe God would have sent another man my way. <br><br>For those still waiting, Jesus says to seek His kingdom first. This can be hard to do when you're praying for a spouse, but if we don't keep Him at the center of our lives when we're single, marriage alone is not going to change that.<br><br>Blessings,<br><br>Jodi A simplified version of my own story is that God brought me & my husband together via a Christian dating service. Looking at the bigger picture, though, many changes had to take place in both of our lives to bring us to that dating service, including my move from another country and the circumstances that led to his being “single again”.

I choose to believe in God's foreknowledge rather than predestination; He knows what we're going to do with the circumstances He places us in. It was my husband's decision to meet with me and after 10 years of marriage, I'm glad he did. However, if he'd decided not to meet me, I believe God would have sent another man my way.

For those still waiting, Jesus says to seek His kingdom first. This can be hard to do when you're praying for a spouse, but if we don't keep Him at the center of our lives when we're single, marriage alone is not going to change that.

Blessings,

Jodi

]]> By: DB http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-70 DB Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:01:30 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-70 Sometimes God says "You must do X, that is what my will is, anything else is against my will." Sometimes he says "What's on your heart? I gave you good desires, you may follow them in a variety of good ways."<br><br>To answer that God can not or will not ever say something like this second comment with regards to our choice of relationships presumes a lot about God, and means that after making a choice we can know for sure what would have happened if we had chosen differently.<br><br>God never says it's wrong to seek anything that isn't directly him. For example, we are not to worry about clothes or food, and if we seek first his kingdom than we'll end up with clothes and food too, but we still have some seeking to do. The food doesn't just supernaturally teleport itself into our house and levitate itself into our mouths. <br><br>Prayer is having a conversation with God. Like any good relationship, just talking about what's going on your life and what's on your mind builds closeness. So a healthy prayer life likely includes sharing with God any romantic interests you may have. It's okay to say "God I don't know if a relationship with him/her is your will or not, and I don't know if I have a choice or not, but if I do, and there's any way to fit this relationship into your will, please do so." It's easy to trip over ourselves inserting "but of course, your will be done" after mentioning the desires of our heart so often that we forget it's okay to just ask a question to a God who loves to listen and loves to answer and loves to gives good gifts.<br><br>Seek first the Kingdom of God, but you still have to lift the fork to your mouth. Sometimes God says “You must do X, that is what my will is, anything else is against my will.” Sometimes he says “What's on your heart? I gave you good desires, you may follow them in a variety of good ways.”

To answer that God can not or will not ever say something like this second comment with regards to our choice of relationships presumes a lot about God, and means that after making a choice we can know for sure what would have happened if we had chosen differently.

God never says it's wrong to seek anything that isn't directly him. For example, we are not to worry about clothes or food, and if we seek first his kingdom than we'll end up with clothes and food too, but we still have some seeking to do. The food doesn't just supernaturally teleport itself into our house and levitate itself into our mouths.

Prayer is having a conversation with God. Like any good relationship, just talking about what's going on your life and what's on your mind builds closeness. So a healthy prayer life likely includes sharing with God any romantic interests you may have. It's okay to say “God I don't know if a relationship with him/her is your will or not, and I don't know if I have a choice or not, but if I do, and there's any way to fit this relationship into your will, please do so.” It's easy to trip over ourselves inserting “but of course, your will be done” after mentioning the desires of our heart so often that we forget it's okay to just ask a question to a God who loves to listen and loves to answer and loves to gives good gifts.

Seek first the Kingdom of God, but you still have to lift the fork to your mouth.

]]> By: Kay http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-63 Kay Tue, 27 Oct 2009 10:13:31 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-63 "Seek Yea First The Kingdom Of God And All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You" Do Not Be Deceived, God Knows All And Has Seen All Your Needs And Hearts Desires. But Our Primary Role As God's Children Is To Seek After Things Of His Kingdom And His Will. In Doing So, We Reciprocatively Open Doors That Meet Our Own Desires. Which Might Includes A Wife And A Lot More Other Things! “Seek Yea First The Kingdom Of God And All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You”
Do Not Be Deceived, God Knows All And Has Seen All Your Needs And Hearts Desires. But Our Primary Role As God’s Children Is To Seek After Things Of His Kingdom And His Will. In Doing So, We Reciprocatively Open Doors That Meet Our Own Desires. Which Might Includes A Wife And A Lot More Other Things!

]]> By: Tim Stewart http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/courtship-predestination/comment-page-1/#comment-60 Tim Stewart Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:05:24 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=106#comment-60 If anybody has more ideas for responsibilities that the man and woman each have, especially if you think of ones that one person would have more of than the other, please hit reply and add yours to the list. Especially if you can think of responsibilities that are not strictly equal between the man and woman. --Tim If anybody has more ideas for responsibilities that the man and woman each have, especially if you think of ones that one person would have more of than the other, please hit reply and add yours to the list. Especially if you can think of responsibilities that are not strictly equal between the man and woman.
–Tim

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