Comments on: Does Courtship Work?

By: DB

DB — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:28:48 +0000

"We believe it is very difficult for young adult children in isolated families to find spouses."

I think that is very true.

But I'm not sure about the causes of your isolation, because I know plenty of Christian homeschoolers committed to purity who were not isolated.

By: Jim

Jim — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:54:45 +0000

Hi Thomas. We have 13 children and none have “dated” so far. Only our oldest is married. We have 6 unmarried children between the ages of 22 and 15. We believe it is very difficult for young adult children in isolated families to find spouses. The cause of our isolation is our beliefs: Christian, homeschooling, quiverfull, and purity in the courtship process. We aren't dogmatic about the process at all, except that the purity of the participants should be guarded. Do you have any positive suggestions as to how the courtship model could be modified to save the baby as we throw away the bath water?

By: New Site: PracticalCourtship.com | Thomas Umstattd Jr.

New Site: PracticalCourtship.com | Thomas Umstattd Jr. — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:14:16 +0000

[...] Does Courtship Work? [...]

By: Tom Umstattd

Tom Umstattd — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:57:57 +0000

I am looking forward to more on this subject

By: Robyn

Robyn — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:14:00 +0000

Depending on how you define courtship (I don’t want to make assumptions), it worked for my husband and me. It was a first relationship for both of us. We’ve now been married just over two years and would certainly call it a success. I’d be curious to know how you’re defining courtship so I’d be better able to say whether the version of it you’re talking about is the same as what I’m talking about.

By: Daniel B

Daniel B — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:09:57 +0000

“If the goal of courtship is to get young people into godly marriages then I think that it often fails to achieve this goal”

Seems to me that the goal of courtship is to isolate people from any chance of failure – which is why it rarely brings success. No risk means no reward. We are to be “in the world but not of the world”, but most courtships I’ve seen try to avoid being in the world altogether.

Also part of the problem might be that courtship also usually goes hand-in-hand with a totally separate error – the church’s fear of sexuality. We act like God created anatomically incorrect humans and Satan added in all the gender-specific stuff. Women learn that their sexuality is something dirty that they should be ashamed of. Men learn that their sexuality is dangerous and uncontrollable. We’re taught how great it is in marriage, but unfortunately never taught what do with our sexual desires that exist right now in our single lives, except to stuff it away and pretend it’s not their. It’s not a healthy way to deal with anger and it’s about time Christians learned it’s not a health way to deal with sexuality either.

And then the whole terminology creates a rift that doesn’t need to exist. Why not teach our youth to date in a Godly way vs dating in an ungodly way? Why define bad dating as ‘dating’ but good dating as ‘not dating at all’ – I might as well right a book on how Christian parents need to stop engaging in “parenting” and start engaging in “child-rearing”

By: Michael Guzman

Michael Guzman — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 18:29:43 +0000

You mentioned that you have talked to dozen of moms…what about dads?