This mindset of “A man has no business seeking a courtship if his relationship with God is such that he relies on his parents for help with decisions” seems like it might be another reason why people are waiting longer to get married. Today's world expects a lot of men (and women), especially those who wish to be successful in the professional world: 4 years of undergraduate education, at least one graduate degree, which is another 3 years at least, if not 5 or 6. This further dissuades men from marriage when they have been taught that women are not to work outside the home, and thus their wife cannot help support the household during those early years of the marriage.

Even this concept of a woman being more “emotionally attached” to her family seems as though it would contribute to this fear of marriage until the late 20s. A woman should be strong in her faith and emotionally mature /before/ she courts or marries. She should not begin to court or get married in order to become that way.

At the time a young man enters a courtship, he ought to have already left his family. A woman leaves the moment she is married, but the man must be independent of his family before he decides to court.

About “leaving”: I didn’t see that you defined exactly what this process is, so I’ll go ahead and take a shot at defining it for you:

Leaving doesn’t mean you no longer honor your parents. Nor does it mean you don’t listen to their advice when they give it. Leaving is when a person is no longer dependent on their parents. Emotionally, financially, and spiritually.

A man has no business seeking a courtship if his relationship with God is such that he relies on his parents for help with decisions.

I didn’t see a clear distinction as to the differing experiences a man, and a woman make during a courtship.. and I was looking for it. Men and women are very different. Women tend to be more emotionally attached to their families, thus they must leave their families only when they have become attached to a new one. This happens when the woman says “I do.”

Men are different, and as the leaders of the new household, the man must prepare their household for marriage by leaving their family before even the “courtship” occurs. By household, again, I’m referring to the physical, emotional, and spiritual “house” that the woman attaches herself to on her wedding day.

“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.”

-Proverbs 24:27 (ESV)

There is no “perfect way” to go about courtship, or “neo-courtship” or any kind of a relationship. One (God honoring) relationship could be completely and totally different from the next. If you are seeking for that “perfect way” you are wasting your time. Go out there, and allow God to control your relationships.

God controlling your relationship is the ONLY way to make it “work”. But the man must be a man, and the woman must be a woman. There is a huge difference in their respective “responsibilities” in courtship.

Courtship takes faith. If the person you are pursuing is God’s choice for you, it will happen. Without faith, Christian’s relationships are the exact same as non-believer’s. I haven’t yet seen where you believe God comes into relationships. How can Christ be honored in a relationship, when you ignore Him through the whole decision making process?

Haha, sorry for the long post, but I’ve been contemplating courtship for quite some time now. I had a lot to say. Looking forward to reading more! God bless you!

It’s been very difficult on my family, especially my parents. My siblings are used to me being gone because I’ve been at college the past 2 years after being homeschooled my entire life, but my parents are realizing that I’m not going to visit home as much anymore. I’m not going to lean on them as much.

Beyond the time issue is the ideas issue. Right or wrong, I’ve always tended to follow my parents’ ideas. Now, because I am marrying someone from another family who has different ideas that could be right or wrong, I must choose. And I feel that sometimes I am torn between what Jordan believes or does and what my parents believe or do. I’ve realized that I am probably going to usually follow Jordan, in the smaller opinionated matters, because the wife is supposed to submit to her husband, and he is to answer to God. But that has been a difficult mindset to adjust to.

It is definitely a blessing to marry a godly man who has the respect of my parents and who I respect. But it is also a painful process of tearing away from my family.