Comments on: The Importance of Being Balanced http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/ making courtship work in the real world Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:28:48 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Thomas Umstattd http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/comment-page-1/#comment-80 Thomas Umstattd Sun, 22 Nov 2009 05:01:07 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=255#comment-80 Shaney, I think you are right on the money. To have a smooth take off you have to slowly gain momentum. If you start to fast to soon you are in for a rocky start and you may run out of gas before you take off. Shaney, I think you are right on the money. To have a smooth take off you have to slowly gain momentum. If you start to fast to soon you are in for a rocky start and you may run out of gas before you take off.

]]> By: Shaney Lee http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/comment-page-1/#comment-79 Shaney Lee Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:09:22 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=255#comment-79 One thing I would add-it is important to balance out each individual's commitment first, then check to see if they are in balance with each other, and then balance everything else out compared to that. For example, I have known people who, as soon as they have gotten into a relationship, jump to a "high" commitment level, and start cutting time with friends, family, and service to God. While the amount of time they cut would be healthy for a couple who has been courting for awhile and is close to being engaged, it is at a very unhealthy level for someone who just started courting. Commitment should start out at a lower end at the beginning of the relationship and gradually build over time. I'm not saying that a couple should start out with a 0 commitment level, but they shouldn't jump in with a commitment level of 8 or 9. A commitment level at about the same level as for good friends is probably a healthy level to start at (what I would define as around a 5 or 6). As the couple progresses in their courtship, the commitment level should naturally go up, and the amount of time/touch/talking involved should be directly related to that increase. <br><br>Two couples who begin a courtship may both have "9" commitment levels, but is that a healthy level to start out at? Commitment may be out of balance not only if one person is more committed than the other, but also if both people are either more or less committed than they should be at any point in the relationship. One thing I would add-it is important to balance out each individual's commitment first, then check to see if they are in balance with each other, and then balance everything else out compared to that. For example, I have known people who, as soon as they have gotten into a relationship, jump to a “high” commitment level, and start cutting time with friends, family, and service to God. While the amount of time they cut would be healthy for a couple who has been courting for awhile and is close to being engaged, it is at a very unhealthy level for someone who just started courting. Commitment should start out at a lower end at the beginning of the relationship and gradually build over time. I'm not saying that a couple should start out with a 0 commitment level, but they shouldn't jump in with a commitment level of 8 or 9. A commitment level at about the same level as for good friends is probably a healthy level to start at (what I would define as around a 5 or 6). As the couple progresses in their courtship, the commitment level should naturally go up, and the amount of time/touch/talking involved should be directly related to that increase.

Two couples who begin a courtship may both have “9″ commitment levels, but is that a healthy level to start out at? Commitment may be out of balance not only if one person is more committed than the other, but also if both people are either more or less committed than they should be at any point in the relationship.

]]> By: Travis Lundbech http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/comment-page-1/#comment-77 Travis Lundbech Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:25:39 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=255#comment-77 I find this very helpful. I've always had a hard time keeping my priorities straight between a relationship and other areas of my life. Looking at relationships from this perspective helps me to see them in a new light, and consequently, with more hope. I find this very helpful. I've always had a hard time keeping my priorities straight between a relationship and other areas of my life. Looking at relationships from this perspective helps me to see them in a new light, and consequently, with more hope.

]]> By: Minda http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/comment-page-1/#comment-76 Minda Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:49:48 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=255#comment-76 Good stuff, Thomas. Being a writer, I read a lot. So here are 2 books I'd recommend for those in a relationship:<br>-Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. by Joshua Harris<br>-Too Close Too Soon: Avoiding the Heartache of Premature Intimacy. by Jim Talley and Bobbie Reed Good stuff, Thomas. Being a writer, I read a lot. So here are 2 books I'd recommend for those in a relationship:
-Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. by Joshua Harris
-Too Close Too Soon: Avoiding the Heartache of Premature Intimacy. by Jim Talley and Bobbie Reed

]]> By: calebhobart http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/comment-page-1/#comment-74 calebhobart Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:15:30 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=255#comment-74 Aha. Quite thankful that I know people that ask this question-At what point do you plan to start holding hands?<br><br>It really brings quite a pleasant and simple joy.<br><br>Boundaries and balance are healthy discussion topics. I find them to be quite edifying conversations as well as within a group. Doing so helps establish paths for friends to understand one another and for those with certain convictions to communicate them while others may not hold them. However, having communicated the position in a respectful manner allows the different backgrounds to come together and learn about one anothers history. Aha. Quite thankful that I know people that ask this question-At what point do you plan to start holding hands?

It really brings quite a pleasant and simple joy.

Boundaries and balance are healthy discussion topics. I find them to be quite edifying conversations as well as within a group. Doing so helps establish paths for friends to understand one another and for those with certain convictions to communicate them while others may not hold them. However, having communicated the position in a respectful manner allows the different backgrounds to come together and learn about one anothers history.

]]> By: ejrathburn http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/comment-page-1/#comment-73 ejrathburn Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:32:56 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=255#comment-73 I actually agree with all of this! Way to go Thomas! Great post :) I actually agree with all of this! Way to go Thomas! Great post :)

]]> By: Sarah Lanciault http://www.practicalcourtship.com/2009/the-importance-of-being-balanced/comment-page-1/#comment-72 Sarah Lanciault Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:53:20 +0000 http://www.practicalcourtship.com/?p=255#comment-72 Touch is a touchy subject. Hahaha! =) Very funny... <br><br>This is a great post. The structure of it reminds me of my favorite verse in the Bible, Philipians 4:6-7. What I love about these verses are that they don't simply say "Don't worry and be at peace," but God instead lays out instructions of how to get from point A (Worry) to point B (Peace). This post does the same. It's so easy to say I'll be a pure single and later have a happy God-centered marriage, but the actual journey between the two points can be dangerous without at least an outline of instructions of how to get there. <br><br>The only thing I would add is a sixth gauge titled "His & Her Individual Commitment to God." If all the gauges are in red but that sixth is still in green, the relationship will be as the house that is built upon the sand with no true foundation. But maybe that emphasis should be left for another post... ;) Touch is a touchy subject. Hahaha! =) Very funny…

This is a great post. The structure of it reminds me of my favorite verse in the Bible, Philipians 4:6-7. What I love about these verses are that they don't simply say “Don't worry and be at peace,” but God instead lays out instructions of how to get from point A (Worry) to point B (Peace). This post does the same. It's so easy to say I'll be a pure single and later have a happy God-centered marriage, but the actual journey between the two points can be dangerous without at least an outline of instructions of how to get there.

The only thing I would add is a sixth gauge titled “His & Her Individual Commitment to God.” If all the gauges are in red but that sixth is still in green, the relationship will be as the house that is built upon the sand with no true foundation. But maybe that emphasis should be left for another post… ;)

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